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Literature Text
A smile,
A kiss,
A word:
Small treasures.
A true friend,
A lover,
A family:
Important treasures.
A cross,
On a map,
Of an island:
Exciting treasures.
Time,
A memory,
A dream:
Priceless treasures.
A kiss,
A word:
Small treasures.
A true friend,
A lover,
A family:
Important treasures.
A cross,
On a map,
Of an island:
Exciting treasures.
Time,
A memory,
A dream:
Priceless treasures.
Small treasures, priceless treasures.
Hope you like it <3
Feedback questions:
- Does the order make sense? Or should I re-arrange them or perhaps add in another strophe?
- Does "friendship" work in that strophe? It's not the same type of word as "lover" and "family". So should I change it to "a friend" to keep the same type?
Critique for The Written Revolution: [link]
Poem (c)
[Me]
Hope you like it <3
Feedback questions:
- Does the order make sense? Or should I re-arrange them or perhaps add in another strophe?
- Does "friendship" work in that strophe? It's not the same type of word as "lover" and "family". So should I change it to "a friend" to keep the same type?
Critique for The Written Revolution: [link]
Poem (c)
[Me] © 2012 - 2024 Destynee33
Comments13
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The order I feel works well with what you want to do. Also I think if you add another strophe it might take away from the concise format you went with. If you wanted to replace "friendship" I think you could replace it with "friends" because it would match in number with "a family", or to match with "a lover" you could replace it with "a true friend". Also I feel the use of commas in the second strophe after "On a map" doesn't work in a listing form.
I hope this helps! Great work!
I hope this helps! Great work!