You Just Need to be Loved... .:Story:.

Two cats stared at each other. Two pairs of eyes, both blue, but vastly different. One looked like the ocean at sunrise, blue with tints of green and warmth, washing back and forth along the shore. The other pair was blue like the frigid waters in leaf-bare where the ocean is flat and silent, just before a storm hits.

"Don't hurt you?" Shadowthorn repeated softly, looking into the she-cat's terrified eyes. Then he snapped. "What is wrong with you!" he growled, his voice still dangerously soft. "Is it so hard to get it into your pathetic, mouse-brained, over confident brain that you keep your eyes open!  You disgust me," he hissed, turning away from her. His shoulder smarted where she had crashed into him.

"I'M SORRY OKAY? I CAN'T HELP IT! I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M A CLUTZ!" Brightsong turned away from the tom, tears falling down her face. "When I run I feel free. But what you don't understand is what it's like to be me!" she snapped on the tom, eyes becoming harsh. "You didn't have cats chasing you up trees, teasing you every day, hurting you on purpose! You never had any family do that to you!" she turned around and stalked off, distraught, fuming, and miserable. She didn't get very far before she just sat down and burst into tears.

The blue-grey tom watched her flee sobbing. This is what he had wanted. But as he stared at the trail of darker spots her tears had left in the sand, he didn't get the satisfaction he had thought he would get. Why not? If anything, he felt worse. Worse than he had in a long time. She had disappeared behind a sand dune now, but he heard her sobs still, painfully ringing in his ears. He stood there for a long time, staring after her as the sun dried up the tear spots in front of him.

Presently her sobs stopped, and the tom was still there. Ever so softly he padded towards her. Again, for the second time in her presence, he wrestled with himself. The two parts of him; his real self (or at least what he thought was the real one), and the other one, the one that had only started appearing in the last few weeks. But when she caught sight of him, she fled. She feared him. He hated her, yes. But when she wasn't there, he missed her, as odd as that seemed. She was so present in everything he did nowadays, the possibility that she might no longer be there was… odd. It's what you wanted, repeated the voice. She won't bother you again, now. He got up and padded forward, about to turn back. But instead, his feet fell into her pawsteps. So lost was he in his thoughts, that he didn't even hear her come padding back until she nearly crashed into him. Her eyes flew open, all kind of emotions passing through them like a film roll.

"I… I'm sorry Brightsong," he meowed, the words bursting out of him without his control. He closed his eyes. "I don't… I don't know why, but you've changed me somehow.  I hated you for that, and I wanted to hurt you. I know that was wrong. I've done a lot of wrong things in my life and this is another time. I'm sorry." He opened his eyes to see her reaction. But instead of screaming at him, like he expected, the she-cat smiled. She smiled, and licked his cheek. He jerked as she licked him, much the same as he had the last time. But this time the instinct to swipe his claws over her face didn't appear. His cheek burned though.

"Shadowthorn, I see the real you. I want to get to know you and… please?" she said softly to him, her eyes sparkling. He glared at her for a moment, battling.

"Okay, I give up. Get to know me. But I tell you, there's nothing good to be found," he grumbled. He felt empty, hollow, weird. He couldn't control the words coming out of his mouth.

Brightsong waited for him to speak, but when he said nothing else she started. She told him of her past, how her sisters had made her life miserable, torturing her day in and day out. And how running in the sands made her feel free. Shadowthorn pretended to be bored, but he was listening intently. And, once again, his mouth seemed to open of its own accord.

"I… well, my parents passed away some time ago. I was never close to them." Suddenly his eyes hardened and his voice sharpened, back into the harsh tone he had used before. "It was always Poppypaw," he spat the name, "'Look what a good hunter Poppypaw is, look what a sweet cat Poppypaw is, look how fast Poppypaw learns, look how many friends Poppypaw has' and on and on." He stopped, looking unseeingly into the distance. He stopped his tongue before it gave something away. He had promised himself long ago that he would never mention Poppypaw again, and now here he was. He dug his claws into the sand, the familiar feeling of fury boiling up in him. His eyes darkened, narrowed under his heavy-lidded eyes, and his tail went stiff. He had quite forgotten Brightsong sitting next to him.

"Poor Shadowthorn, you just need to be loved," she meowed, brushing her tail along his flank in compassion.

"Is that what you think?" he snarled, his head swinging around sharply. "And I suppose you think you can fill that place?" He froze, coughed, and blushed at what he had said.

Brightsong's breath caught in her throat. She stammered something, then somehow she was tripping over her paws. With a yowl, she collapsed on top of the tom, knocking them both to the ground. Being unprepared as he was, Shadowthorn posed no resistance.

"What the—" he spluttered as sand went down the wrong way and was reduced for the next few second to a violent fit of coughing. He scrambled out from under her, his claws unsheathed. Taking a deep breath he growled at her, enunciating each word as if speaking to an invalid.

"Is it possible for you to not collide with me, even when we are sitting still?

She blushed, baking up quickly. She was surprised she was not dead already. "Look, I'm terribly sorry. Heck, I'm grateful that you didn't kill me. But I know that you're on the verge, so I won't press my luck and I'll leave you alone." she stammered and padded quickly away from the furious tom.

But at the prospect of her leaving, he suddenly felt odd. Getting quickly to his paws, the tom half took a step towards her. "I'm not going to kill you," he said softly, walking up behind her. "Or, I'll try not to," he added. She stopped, eyeing him for a moment as if she didn't believe him. She took a deep breath and spoke. "I've seen you Shadowthorn. I see...the constant...war inside you. It's like a good and bad side, battling for dominance. I just wish you would see your real self, and embrace it. I...Shadowthorn...I...I like you okay? I like you a lot. You may intimidate others, but not me.""

"I… don't know what you mean," he lied. "There's me and there's me, you just pretend to see things that aren't there." The silence stretched out between them, and still he said nothing. He didn't know what to say. Silence had always been his friend, now it hurt him.

Brightsong watched him. Then she got up and padded around till her nose was inches from his face. She too, seemed to be at war with herself. Pushing her thoughts away, she closed her eyes and kissed him. She felt a wall of emotions surge though her, and knew this was probably her last moments in the world.

Shadowthorn stood there for a whole long time, too shocked to do anything. Then, his senses came back to him and he jerked, more out of instinct than anything, breaking their touch. He was already leaning so far back on his hind legs to escape from her that the sharp movement made him loose his balance and he crashed to the ground, still too stunned for words. The she-cat turned bright red, hiding her face. She stuttered something. I'm sorry…I just wanted to.. kiss you at least once in my life. Once… she thought to herself. "I'll leave you now… forever." She then turned tail and ran.

The last word she had said to him sunk in. And some strange emotion charged through him, making him scramble unsteadily to his feet, still not in his right mind. He saw her padding away from him quickly, fleeing. He took a step forward, then broke into a run. He pounced on her, throwing her to the ground, and he stood there over her. Bending down he pressed his muzzle to hers, hard and tender at the same time.  Brightsong had her eyes closed, half-expecting the tom to kill her right then and there. And then she felt his muzzle on hers. Her eyes snapped open, wide and almost improbable. "I..." she then just became as quiet as a mouse, and closed her eyes. She savored the moment. The moment where the real Shadowthorn had shown on the outside, and even, possibly, loved Brightsong. The she-cat felt so many emotions surge over her, and she had no idea what to show. "Who-who are you?" she asked.

Shadowthorn looked at her face and he laughed. He actually laughed. Her expression was just so hilarious. "I-I don't know," he answered her. "I don't know who I am." He blushed and stared at the ground. "I don't know," he repeated, and the humor left his face. He got up quickly, turning away from her. Brightsong was incredulous. The tom had laughed. The tom had blushed. And then he just acted cold. "...Shadowthorn..." she muttered quietly, padding in front of him once more. She searched his face. For the humor, for the embarrassment. For the tom she knew. But it was gone. "...don't leave me." she said quietly, not wanting this new tom to leave her. The tom that had only appeared for her. "...please..."

He stepped away, ignored her last words and padded with a heavy tread up the sand dune that headed for the camp. He couldn't remember why he had kissed her, he couldn't remember the feeling. It was as if his brain was blocking out the memory. Part of him feebly tried to fight it, but he gave in and left. Upon reaching the top of the sand dune, however, he turned once and looked at her. He saw her figure, so small, left there alone, hurt. His heart twisted, and he pushed the darkness in his mind away.

"Brightsong," he called. "Come… I need you…"